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| What do you say to a slow tomato? | C'mon, ketchup! |
| What did the fish sing for Christmas? | We Fish You a Merry Christmas! |
| Why did the gum cross the road? | Because it was stuck to the chicken’s shoe! |
| What do you get if a cow is in an earthquake? | A milkshake! |
| What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum? | A meltdown! |
| What do you call an old snowman? | Water! |
| What do you get when you floss your teeth? | No cavities! No braces! |
| Why was the skeleton scared to cross the road? | Because he didn't have any guts!!! |
| What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? | Frostbite! |
| Why did the student eat his homework? | Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake. |
| What did one plate say to the other plate? | Dinner is on me. |
| Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? | Because she was stuffed. |
| What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping? | A dino snore |
| Q YOU SEE ME WHEN IT'S SUNNY AND I'M WITH YOU ALL THE TIME WHAT AM I? | YOUR SHADOW |
| What kind of pants do ghosts wear? | Boo-Jeans |
| What do ghosts eat for dinner? | Spooketi |
| How did the barber win the race? | He took the short cut! |
| What do you call an alligator in a vest? | An investigator! |
| What do snowmen eat for breakfast? | Snow flakes |
| What's the horse version of Harry Potter? | Harry Trotter! |
| How do you get a tissue to dance? | You just put some boogie in it!!! |
| Why did the lion cross the road? | Because it was the chicken's day off!!!!!! |
| It has many layers, but don't ask me why if you try to peel them they will make you cry. | Onions |
| A man and his son were riding their bikes, crashed, and were taken to different hospitals. The boy was on the operating table and the doctor exclaims, I can't operate on you, you're my son!
How is this possible? | The doctor is his mom! |
| What monument always has a cold? | The sta-choo of liberty |
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